I am not a perfect Christian by any means. There is so much I am still learning and working on. Some days I get it right, I think. . . but most days I probably miss the mark by more than I'd like to admit. Yet, I really do strive to "walk the talk" and pray continually for the Holy Spirit to convict me when I am not. I try not to judge because I know Jesus teaches, "first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye (Matthew 7:5)." I wasn't going to write this post because I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite who is admonishing a fellow Christian while I myself am still so flawed. But I feel that I am being compelled to write this for two reasons I will explain later. For now, let me tell the story that prompted this post.
This past weekend was my cousins' wedding. I met a Catholic priest (I don't know when or where he was ordained, but he identified himself as such) who was somehow connected to the family, and the groom's mother really wanted him to be the MC for the wedding reception. His role was to introduce the wedding party, the family members, etc. This would have been all fine except that he created so much drama and tension, both at rehearsal and during the wedding day. I won't go into all the details, but he was very prideful and boasted continuously about how the bride and groom should be honored he'd do their wedding. . . He basically offended the bride and groom and disrespected their religion, Buddhism. He offended me also even though I am Christian myself (though non-denominational). He told us we were too young to know anything of faith and tradition. I tried to stay silent and prayed the whole time for the Lord to guide me to the right words if I needed to talk. The tension mounted at the rehearsal dinner and I was unfortunately drawn into the discussion. I just quoted Proverbs 6:16-19 about the Lord hating "haughty eyes (pride)" and "anyone who causes dissension". I then said that God wants us to be humble and show love to each other. I don't know if what I said made any impact, because throughout the wedding the next day he continued to demand special attention and treatment for his role as MC. As coordinator I tried my best to appease him and meet his demands so that he would not bother the bride and groom. Still, at one point he used inappropriate "gesturing" and stormed out of the house during the tea ceremonies. He never once apologized for his behavior, only coming to me at the end of the day and told me that he was not upset with the way that I treated him. . . Thank God, everything somehow worked itself out and the wedding went well despite the bumps in the road and despite the drama with this priest.
It just saddened me that this so-called man of God was acting this way. I just pray that he did not turn many people away from Christianity. I tried my best to explain to people who witnessed his behavior that he was not showing the love of Christ as he should, and asked them not to judge Christianity by his example, but rather by the example of Christ. . . . And I tried also to not get upset by his behavior and to maintain my own composure. I slipped a few times, but hopefully not too badly. I know all too well the damage that can be done when so-called Christians act in hypocritical ways and pray that the Lord keeps me from becoming like that. I grew up going to church because my mother's family were proclaimed Christians. But even at a young age I could see the discrepancies between what they preached and how they acted. . .And that is one of the fundamental reasons I turned away from God and Christianity and became an atheist after my parents' divorce. I was an atheist for many years. After battling depression and illness I finally came to Christ because I finally witnessed true Christian love that exemplified the love of Christ for all of us (see earlier post on Love). I'm going to end with a poem that was quoted in Lee Strobel's book, The Unexpected Adventure. The author was a young woman named Maggie who was initially turned away from church because of inauthentic Christians. Thankfully she found a great church community who showed her the love of Christ as it should be demonstrated. She wrote:
Do you know
do you understand
that you represent
Jesus to me?
Do you know
do you understand
that when you treat me with gentleness,
it raises the question in my mind that maybe He is gentle, too.
Maybe He isn't someone
who laughs when I am hurt.
Do you know
do you understand
that when you listen to my questions
and you don't laugh,
I think, "What if Jesus is interested in me, too?"
Do you know
do you understand
that when I hear you talk about arguments
and conflict and scars from your past,
I think, "Maybe I am just a regular person
instead of a bad, no good little girl
who deserves abuse."
If you care,
I think maybe He cares --
and then there's this flame of hope
that burns inside of me
and for a while I am afraid to breathe
because it might go out.
Do you know
do you understand
that your words are His words?
Your face is His face
to someone like me?
Please, be who you say you are.
Please, God, don't let this be another trick.
Please let this be real.
Please!
Do you know
do you understand
that you represent
Jesus to me?
(p. 135-136)
I am writing this post for two reasons: (1) If you are a Christian, please watch how you represent yourself to other people because you can ultimately turn people away from Christ by your inauthentic behavior; and (2) If you are not yet Christian, please do not assume that every Christian is a good example of Christ's love and the gift only He can bring to your life. Christ shows more love than you can imagine, if only you seek him out and invite him into your heart. Lee Strobel commented in his book, "Spiritual seekers aren't looking for perfection in the Christians they encounter. But they do want authenticity -- that is, consistency between their beliefs and behavior, between their character and their creed. Unfortunately, when we lack integrity, we give people one more excuse to avoid God. Instead, to use Maggie's word, we just need to be real. (p. 137)."
One last thing. Please pray for this priest. Please pray that God will reveal himself to this priest and help to guide him to be better. He is obviously in a position of power and authority, and it would be such a shame if it were wasted. Please pray that this priest will be open and humble to Christ's truth so that God can really use him for His glory. Amen.
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