The Golden Rule

"In everything, do to others what you would have them do to  you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)."

This is often referred to as the Golden Rule and is quoted quite often by people in all walks of life.  I have also heard the converse of this, "don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you."  But in this negative form it misses the mark and becomes less significant.  It's easier to refrain from harming others than to take the initiative to do something good for someone else.  Think about it.  On a daily basis most people can keep themselves from hitting or saying mean things to other people.  But how many people will go out of their way to help someone else in need despite the inconvenience to themselves?  By making this statement in the positive form,  Jesus is teaching us to take action.  He wants us to be doers of good.  He wants us to actively and continually show mercy and agape love to others (see earlier blog post for a more detailed description of this selfless kind of love).  This is the kind of love and grace that God shows us everyday and that is what he wants us to demonstrate to others.  By saying that this sums up the Law and the Prophets, Jesus emphasizes the importance of this type of selfless action. 

I thought about this scripture alot this weekend.  I was helping to coordinate my cousin's wedding.  It was a big job and I was so scared I would fail.  The wedding involved multiple ceremonies at various locations -- in other words, lots of moving pieces.  As with  most weddings, there were some unforeseen situations and dramas that unfolded (both big and small).  As one of the coordinators, my job was to diffuse them to the best of my ability so that the wedding could proceed on schedule and as smoothly as possible.  It was a stressful day and at certain moments I definitely thought to myself, "What am I doing?  How did I get myself into this mess?  It's so unfair that I can't enjoy the festivities."  But then I remembered Jesus's teachings.  God first, other people second, and myself last.  I wish that I could say that I executed this type of selflessness without complaint, but at certain points the stress got to me and I found myself either venting or barking commands and snapping at people.  Thankfully I don't think there were too many of those moments, but enough to make me feel ashamed of them and wish I could turn back the clock and redo them.   At the end of the day all that should matter is that my two cousins got the wedding of their dreams and that they are happy.  I am grateful and honored that I got to be a part of it.  

Today I noticed myself getting angry at other people not stepping up to help another family member who was in need.  I think they didn't because of the inconvenience it would cause them and the sacrifice of time it would cost.  My husband and I found ourselves agreeing to help even though it would be the hardest for us to do so since we have young children to also take care of.   We kept thinking, "How unfair is it that we have to do this when it would be so much easier if someone else did it.  How unfair and sad it is that no one else is offering to help."   In the middle of venting to each other we had an epiphany:  we realized that we were doing exactly what the others were doing:  complaining.  The bible teaches, "Do everything without complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:14)."  What use is it to complain?  It doesn't change things.  And all that matters is that the family member is taken care of and receives the help that she needs.  

What I learned this weekend is that it is hard to execute "Do to others what you would have them do to you."  It often means that you do things that you don't want to do, things that will inconvenience you, or things that you find unfair.  The worlds' standards of fairness are not the same as God's.  The world says, "Do good to those who do good to you.  Love those who love you back."  Jesus says, "Love others as yourself (even if they don't love you).  Love your enemies."   So when you think that you have done more than your fair share to help someone else, don't stop.  Do more.  Be continual doers of good.  There is a great movie about this called, Pay it Forward.  Doing good deeds to others is contagious.  If only we can all push our selfishness aside everyday and be truly selfless.  What a better world we'd live in!  There is a second part to this equation though.  Actively showing love, mercy, and grace to others as God shows us means not complaining about it.  For me, this is the hardest part.  I really do try to do whatever I can to help friends and family and the occasional stranger, but I will admit that I don't always do it without some grumbling. . . I have to work on this.  Will you too?  Let's pay it forward.