Staying calm during the storm

I have a family member who is in trouble because she is turning to maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with depression and emotional pain.  I can understand where she is coming from and what drives her to harm herself and use substances.  I have been there.  I suffered from severe depression as a teenager and young adult.  And because I understand, I am trying as much as possible to be there for her.  I am trying to be a listening ear.  I am trying to be her advocate.  But sometimes I don't know how best to help.

I have been praying hard for wisdom and discernment about this situation.  I have been praying for the family as a whole to gain wisdom and come together in our attempt to help.  Unfortunately, in talking to a family member today about the situation, I became frustrated and lost my temper.  I was frustrated that this person did not understand what I was trying to say.  We disagreed on the root cause of the situation and best treatment approach.  We both hung up the phone angry.

I was on the way to pick up my oldest daughter from VBS after this conversation.  I prayed silently the whole way there:  "Lord, please show me the way.  What should I do?  How can I best help?  How can I get the rest of the family to understand the emotional side of things?  Please give me wisdom.  Please give them wisdom.  Let us be able to intervene the way you want us to."

When I got home I put the two younger ones down for a nap and I started to gather up some papers from the table.  I noticed my daughter's homework assignment from Sunday school yesterday.  The theme had been calmness in the face of the storm.  Jesus was always calm during the storm.  He was sleeping until the disciples woke him up because of their fear. Jesus rebuked them and proceeded to calm the storm.  My daughter's bible memory verse was, "A wise person stays calm (Proverbs 12:16)."

Ok, Lord.  I get it.  I lost it earlier.  I was not calm.  Silent doubt and fear crept into my heart as I despaired about the situation and felt so frustrated and powerless to do anything.   In losing my temper and failing to be calm, I probably hurt my cause more than I helped.  By raising my voice I caused the person I was talking to feel defensive.  Defensiveness makes it hard to come to any type of understanding.  God's answer to my prayers for wisdom today was to remind me to remain calm and to know that he is in control.   Keep praying, keep trusting, and know that in the midst of the storm, Jesus is always there.  There is a good purpose for this family crisis right now even if we cannot see it.  All of us may have varying opinions on the situation and what needs to be done, but we all must remain calm to discuss it and trust that God will guide us to the right answer.

Interestingly enough, after writing the above, another family member called me to talk about the situation.  A part of me feared another confrontation and another round of defensiveness.  But surprisingly it was a very good and open discussion.  The difference was that although we voiced some differences of opinion, we did so calmly.  Surprisingly, we found out that we agreed on a lot more points than we thought, and ultimately we agreed in the general assessment and approach we should take to help from here on out.

So, if you are going through a "storm" right now -- whatever it is.  Trust in the calm that only Jesus can bring to the situation, as I was reminded of today.  Do not be afraid for He is more powerful than even the strongest of storms.