Reassurance

Cara generally is my mild, easy child.  But this week I have had several challenging moments with her.  It's probably due to a combination of illness, tiredness, and the fact that she is approaching three years old in just a few weeks.  Aside from the anecdotal evidence that all children seem to go through a difficult period at the half year and the full year mark, I remember three years old being a very difficult age with Arianna.  People talk a lot about the terrible twos, but in my opinion it should be the terrible threes.  That is the year that children really start to develop attitude.  

For example, I asked Cara, "You are being rather fussy today. What's the matter?"  She says with a scowl on her face, with arms crossed, and feet stomping, "I am not fussing.  I am grumpy!"  It took all of my effort not to smile and laugh at her -- she was so cute.   Smiling and laughing at her probably would have made things worse since she was already in a mood.   She has been getting into these moods much more frequently this week.  She will pout, scowl, stomp her feet, and sulk whenever she doesn't get her way or if I correct her on something that she doesn't like.  In addition she will say, "I don't like you, Mommy," or "I don't love you."  Today she even said, "I only love Daddy, not you anymore!"  I know she doesn't mean it and is only saying these things out of anger or frustration, but it still stings a little.  Arianna usually is my more challenging child, but she has never said such hurtful things.  Arianna's tantrums tend be very loud, very intense, and they last a very long time.  However, during them she still always wants to be in our presence.  She gets more upset if we send her to her room.  Cara, on the other hand, has less volatile tantrums and will sometimes voluntarily put herself in time-out.  However, she often says negative things and she always pushes us away by saying, "I don't want you.  Leave me alone."  I say to her, "Even though you say you do not like or love me,  I still love you very much and will always love you."  Sometimes that reassurance is all that she needs and she will come and let me hug her.  Other times if she is deep into her mood I have to leave her alone for a while before she is willing to come to me for a reassuring hug.

God is our father and we are his children.  And like Cara, when we don't get what we want from Him we often pout, stomp our feet, or even have a full blown "tantrum" where we rave against God.  We pray for a new house, a new car, for a relationship to develop into something more, for our parents to get back together and not get a divorce, for miraculous healing, for a certain trial to end. . .   We think sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers, when in fact his answer may simply be "No" or "No, not yet."  That kind of answer does not make us happy.  We always want what we want and we want it now -- just like a toddler.  We get angry and frustrated with God.  We might even start to question Him and doubt Him, essentially saying to ourselves, "I don't like you, God.  I don't love you right now."  And when God tries to pour his love and truth into us, we might say, "No, leave me alone, I don't want you right now."  But, just like with Cara, that's not what we really want.  We want reassurance.  We want to feel God's reassuring presence in our lives even when we are acting out against him.  He is there always, ready and waiting, until we are willing to come to him.

We need not doubt God's love for us.  He will not leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).  He loved us so much he sent his one and only son, Jesus, to die on our behalf so that we may have eternal life (John 3:16).  And Jesus loved us so much that he faced his death knowingly.  When everyone lashed out in hatred towards Him, nailing him onto the cross, piercing him, killing him, Jesus prayed on our behalf, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34)."  If you are reading this and have never trusted Jesus in a real and personal way, I pray that you will take a step in faith.  He is the only reassurance we need of God's everlasting love.