Stage Fright

It has been months since I have written.  Uninterrupted time is hard to come by these days with three kids.  I get moments of silence when the older ones are playing nicely or when the baby is napping. . .  But managing three different sets of needs and schedules is BUSY!  Granted, I often waste these precious moments of free time on Facebook or Pinterest instead of being productive, but I am going on a tangent again. . .  For those who actually read my blog/ journal -- I apologize for not writing more often.  I have been busy, but more than that, the circumstances of daily life have been overwhelming me and by the end of the day I have been feeling drained.   I realize I have not been in the Word as much as in the past.  As a result perhaps I have been lacking inspiration to write -- until today.

Cara, my almost 3 year old daughter, loves everything princess and ballerina.  Today she had her ballet performance to end a great week of Princess Ballerina Camp.  She enjoyed this week immensely and would come home each day and tell me all that she did and show me her dance moves.  This afternoon our family (along with grandparents and aunt) gathered at the dance studio.  We saw her sitting and smiling broadly with her tiara on her head, princess wand in her hand, ballet slippers and tutu on -- patiently waiting for the cue from her instructors to start the performance.  Once it started she was doing well twirling, waltzing, doing plies. . .  But then I think the clapping and the "oooos and awwws" from the spectators combined with tiredness started to take a toll.  We saw our little ballerina go from smiles to a downcast, grumpy look until she refused to participate at all and curled in my lap for the remainder of the performance hiding her head. Her first experience with stage fright.

I found  myself thinking about stage fright and performance anxiety.  We've all been there and some may still experience it from time to time.  Maybe, like Cara, the stage fright has to do with dancing or theatrical performances.  Maybe it's sports related.  While watching the Olympics this week I am amazed at how brilliantly the athletes perform under so much stress and scrutiny -- with people all over the world watching them.  Maybe the anxiety is related to public speaking at school or at work.  All these types of "stage fright" are easy to identify and relate to.  However there are many subtle everyday instances of anxiety and fright that often go unnoticed.  They occur on invisible "stages" or arenas such as our homes and in our hearts and minds.  How often do we shy away from things that we love, enjoy, or believe in because we fear what others may think of us?  How often do we shut down in mind, body, heart, and spirit in the face of eyes scrutinizing us or watching us? 

The company Chick Fil A is being attacked for voicing their belief in biblical marriage as being between a man and a woman and supporting these beliefs by monetarily supporting anti-gay marriage legislation.  They are experiencing extreme criticism and backlash as a result.  Facebook and other social media sources are exploding with people voicing their opinions on both sides of this issue.  However, it struck me today how there are even more people who are NOT expressing their opinion.  In a country of free speech and expression, so many people are not sharing their opinions and thoughts, not even with close friends and family.  Why?  My conclusion:  stage fright.  All too often we fear what others will think of us, especially on controversial issues such as this.  

I wasn't planning to declare my beliefs about the Chick Fil A issue to the general public, let alone on Facebook and on this blog, but I could not shake the feeling that I needed to.  A voice in the back of my head kept nudging relentlessly until I started to type.  By nature I am not a brave person, but I do believe that God was prompting me to declare my beliefs for a purpose and I knew I had to obey.  When a record breaking number of people dined at Chick Fil A on Wednesday to show their support for the company, I was among them.  I could not help but wonder how many of these people will actually admit to friends and family that they were there?  So many Christians I think are subjected to stage fright.  The Christian way is not very popular so I can sympathize.  I have been there and still sometimes am not bold enough to declare my faith when I should.  

I believe in God.  I believe in Jesus.  I believe in the Bible as God's Word.  And I believe in the biblical definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.  However, I also believe that we are all sinners and have no right to judge each other's lives.  Only God has the right to judge and we will all stand before him one day.  I believe too much hate has been displayed on both sides of this Chick Fil A issue.  The most harmful would be from so-called Christians who are not showing love.  God is Love.  He loved us so much he sent his son, Jesus, to die for us on the cross.  So yes, don't give in to stage fright.  Express your beliefs and faith and do not shy away from them, whatever they are.  Do not be afraid.  There is no stage that God does not oversee.  However, do so with love and compassion, as He instructs us to do.  We are called to love one another despite race, ethnicity, beliefs, lifestyle, or the choices we make.  I have many friends and family who do not share the same beliefs and opinions that I do, but I love them all regardless, as God also loves us all.