It has been 10 years. Wow. They call it flashbulb memories -- the vivid images that we store of where and what we were doing when a HUGE event occurs. I was working at that time at an outpatient psychiatric facility in Northeast DC. It started like any regular day. The patients had just finish their breakfast, and some were milling around talking while some were watching TV. Suddenly I hears gasps from some of the patients. Then some began screaming. As I tried to assess the situation and figure out what was going on, I noticed people pointing at the TV screen. Now other therapists and psych personnel poured into the room and our eyes focused onto the TV. The first plane had just crashed into the first tower and they were showing footage of smoke, people jumping out of windows. . . Then suddenly we see another plane heading into the second tower. . . More chaos and devastation. That's when someone shouted, "We are under attack!" And that's when some of the patients started to lose control and we had to snap into action. The patients had varying diagnoses that included mood disorders (e.g., depression, bipolar), anxiety (e.g., OCD), and those that were along the schizophrenia spectrum. . .And their disorientation was apparent. The TV was turned off and for the remainder of the morning patients were not allowed to watch. The rest of the staff and I tried to go about our business as calmly as possible -- pretending it was just another day. In our offices we scanned the radio and internet for further news. . . . We worried about friends and family in New York and at the Pentagon. But our first responsibility was to the patients. We had to make sure they were safe, that their conditions did not deteriorate due to the shock and news. The therapists cancelled the groups they had planned for that day and did crisis management groups instead, allowing patients to talk about their feelings after seeing the footage. There was a general sense of unease and fear as we tried to figure out what to do -- evacuate or leave early. . . Transporting the patients. . . I will always remember that day, and I know you will always remember that day, whereever you were and whatever you were doing. . .
I was not a true Christian yet at that time and I remember asking, "How could this happen? How could God allow it? If he truely existed, there shouldn't be such horror!" And I know that many others have asked the same exact question. I do not claim to have the complete answer or one that would satisfy you. Theologians, pastors, and stronger Christians than I have tried to answer this time and time again. So I doubt I can shed more light then they have already done. However, what I can do is talk about what I have learned and what I am reminded of as I sit here and write. God is a God of LOVE, HOPE, and LIGHT, not one of hatred and darkness. He has a hand in everything that we do, but that doesn't mean that he is the cause of everything that happens in our lives. He is a God who allows us free choice. So with that in mind, sometimes things that happen to us, especially the bad, come as a result of our own sinful nature, our own wrong choices and mistakes. Evil happens in the world because there are other forces at work that oppose God's goodness. Satan is as real today as he was thousands of years ago. The problem is that we sometimes forget about him. But what we can hold on to is the hope that God promises: "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, (Romans 8:28)." This doesn't mean there won't be suffering, pain, and tragedy. Unfortunately, living in a fallen world means that these things are inevitable. But God does promise to give us the stength to perservere and the confidence to know that he will work to bring about goodness and light even in the times of evil and darkness.
That is exactly what he did on 9/11. In the midst of the the utter destruction and horror of the twin towers collapsing, the Pentagon ravaged, the plane crash in Pennsylvania, the unspeakable tragedy of all the lives lost. . . God showed himself in the love and goodwill that was demonstrated. He was there among all the service men and women and public servants who risked their own lives to help. He was there in the arms of strangers, friends, and family who offered meals, support, and just hand-holding during those long hours and days of waiting for news (good and bad). He was there lifted up in prayers of countless people across the nation and the world. He is here still. In the midst of tragedy and despair, please do not doubt that God is there and that he cares. In the midst of the monotony of life, God is still present. He is everywhere, just waiting for us to choose Him and recognize Him, and trust Him.
Dear Lord, I pray that you continue to be with the families and friends of all the men and women whose lives were lost on 9/11. I pray that you lift them up, encourage and comfort them as only you can. Please remind them and the nation that you are here and that you are present, and that we may lean on you and trust in you. I pray that you remind us each day that despite tragedies that happen in our lives, if we trust in you, you promise to bring goodness out of the circumstances of pain. Amen.
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