Priorities

Are you a Martha or a Mary?  Luke 10:38-41 tells the story of these two sisters and their contrasting approaches to life.  Martha was a busy woman who was "distracted by all the preparations that had to be made."  She was probably in the kitchen cooking, cleaning, and slaving away to prepare an elaborate feast because Jesus was in the house!  If you knew a famous person was going to visit your home, wouldn't you do the same?  And even more so for the Messiah!  Mary however, simply "sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said."

In pop pyschological terms, you might say that Martha had Type A tendencies.  This personality type, as well as it's counterpart, Type B (Mary), was described in the 1950s by Goldstein.  This theory has been criticized by modern psychologists and scientists because of methodological errors in the research and lack of construct validity. . . I won't bore you with the details.  Nonetheless, I still think this Type A/ Type B personality theory has it's uses today.  As a society we like to pigeon-hole people into subtypes, subgroups, and classes because it makes it easier to understand things, compare, contrast, and illustrate.  I'm going to try and do that here, so bear with me. This is Wikipedia's description of the two types: 

A Type A individual is ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence. In his 1996 book, Type A Behavior: Its Diagnosis and Treatment, Friedman suggests that Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, which can be triggered by even minor incidents; time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation; and a competitive drive, which causes stress and an achievement-driven mentality. The first of these symptoms is believed to be covert and therefore less observable, while the other two are more overt.
Type B individuals are a perfect contrast to those with Type A personalities. People with Type B personalities are generally patient, relaxed, easy-going, and at times lacking an overriding sense of urgency.

Martha definitely showed hostility, irritation, and exasperation with Mary and Jesus.  She says, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?"  Whoa, can you imagine saying that to Jesus?  I bet she was pretty competitve with Mary also.  She probably thought that the Lord would praise her for a clean house, good meal, and her overall efforts.  But he instead praised Mary.  He said, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her."  But Mary didn't do anything.  Yes, she did. She chose to put the Lord first and foremost above all other things.  She had her priorities straight. 

I don't know about you, but I definitely have Type A tendencies.  And like Martha, I very often let the little things get in the way of what is more important.  I often focus too much on the details rather than the bigger picture.  I am so thankful for my children because they remind me everyday to stop, focus, and reprioritize.  For example, just this morning, I was busy trying to get breakfast on the table, get both girls fed, somehow shower and get everyone dressed, pack a lunch for school, and just make it out of the house on time.  I sternly reminded my oldest daughter that she needed to start eating and finish quickly (she normally takes forever!) while I shoveled food into my younger daughter's mouth.  My 4-yr-old then says to me, "But mommy, we forgot to pray!  We have to respect Jesus because we love him!"   Oh, how humbling that moment was!  She was so right.  I try and stop during times of busyness to pay attention to my girls and notice what they are playing with or what they are marveling at in the moment (even if it's just an ant), but sometimes I need a reminder.  And lately I've been trying to be better about being in the Word everyday and praying, but I have to admit sometimes I am still too much like Martha.  I get preoccupied and I get exacerbated with anyone who gets in the way of my busyness and the tasks that I feel need to be accomplished.  

Please don't get me wrong.  I am not advocating that everything needs to be dropped.  Of course not.  Dinner still has to get done, laundry folded, etc.  But to be always Type A/ Martha obviously isn't the ideal.  If you want science to back you up on this also, research has shown that Type A personality is a risk factor for heart disease because of all the self-induced stress!  But to be Type B/ Mary all the time may mean that nothing ever gets done.  Afterall, there has to be a balance.  I think the lesson, based on the sisters' story, is to focus on the Lord first.  Prioritize him.  Then everything else -- all other priorities -- will fall into place as they should.

A friend of mine posted this on her facebook page.  It is a prayer from MBC's daily devotionals that I think is so pertinent to all of us:  "Oh Lord, like Martha, I come to You with guilt because I choose to be busy about things instead of stopping to experience Your presence. I come with disappointment because Your answers or timing are not what I would choose. (Confess the specifics.) Thank You, Jesus, for Your forgiveness and unconditional love. I choose to believe that You can be glorified through this situation in my life: (name the specifics). In Jesus' name, amen."